Hey guys! First of all, thanks for all the great responses to my last journal. My apologies to those of you who commented that I didn't get to. It's a hard topic for me--sometimes I can stomach debating it, and other times, it kinda messes with my head. I get really ridiculously angry and it makes working hard.

But anyway, I'm glad so many people responded to agree. That did make me feel better.

Now~ Onto the meat of this!

I recently posted a new picture of Herz and got a few responses of people interested in knowing more about him.

The problem is, with Herz...well, I don't really know where to start! He's been bouncing around in my head for three, close to four years now and it's reached the point where I have so much to say about him, I've no idea where to start for someone who might only know his Jak-fanon background, or even bits of his background from Elegante.

So! If you guys could give me some questions to answer--any, even if they're silly as all hell--that would really help. I plan on compiling them all and doing some doodles to go with them aaaand posting that probably after break's started for me (the 18th).

Thanks in advance guys! :>

Ooookay, so I really dropped the ball you guys, and I'm sorry. I asked you wonderful deviants to join me in making Jak wallpapers, but I missed the deadline myself and haven't put...I think the last three? Entries up yet. Firstly, I'd like to ask those of you who haven't seen your entries in my journal yet to repost them to this journal in the comments. I've lost your original comments by thoughtlessly cleaning my inbox and since you put in the wonderful effort and goodness, people should see the kick-ass shit you've made, I'd like to put them up.

Again, I'm sorry for that wait.

For those of you who don't know (I'm guessing a large chunk because I don't do this communication thing very well) I've started college! I now go to College for Creative Studies in Detroit. It's beeeyond awesome. I love it here.

College is eating my soul.

I have very little time I don't spend staring at a piece of paper or the wall because every class demands homework. I've never had to work so hard in my life. In fact, as I write this, I'm trying to finish up a digital piece for my Digital Fundamentals class. I'm taking a well needed break, finding I want to speak instead of, well, staring at the wall and waiting for my brain to kick back online.

It's kinda like--you know when you leave Photoshop running for too long and you try to do something complicated and the jerk crashes on you? My brain does that now. It's so fun.

BUT UH ANYWAY; yes, that is why I haven't been around or I have been around for, like, two seconds. Please, my DA friends, bare with my loser tendencies. They are abundant.

BUT THE REASON I AM WRITING THIS ENTRY;

I am a bisexual feminist and I'm damn well proud of it. I like debating women's rights and gay rights and religion and oh so many other things. Debate is fun. It means I get to argue shamelessly and get away with it.

Gay rights are honestly more important to me than women's rights. It's because, well, women are still objectified and continue to earn less than their alter egos, but at least you can admit you're a woman and still be allowed to teach, or marry (half of the time), or be allowed at your parents house. I feel human rights for Gays honestly need more attention. Thinking about that tonight--because I tend to let my mind wander when I draw. Usually it's just a lot of cursing, but occasionally I get something productive done up there--I realized something.

I don't think it's fair that we categorize men doing effeminate things as 'gay'. That's a huge misconception. Most gay men aren't guilty of anything more effeminate than liking other men. To lump it all together and then criticize someone for being girly by associating them with a homosexual man is just...well, it's ridiculous.

They aren't acting gay in any way, unless they're thinking of pursuing a relationship with another man. WHICH SHOULD BE FINE, but lets face it, in the American culture, it's wholly Not Fine. Which sucks.

What they're acting is effeminate. If they're acting effeminately in the sense they care strongly about their appearance and like more 'dressy' outfits and hair-styles, then you would say they are 'metrosexual'. If they like to wear women's clothing, put on make-up and/or occasionally put on a nice feet crippling pair of high heels, they are typically called a transvestite. If they like to cook, like dramas or romances, enjoy acting in or watching a good musical, there is NOTHING about this that affects their sexual orientation. They are simply doing what society has dictated as 'feminine' things.

Which, hey, I say is bullshit, but if we must conform to society in some way; call them effeminate.

That is what they're being.

It's homophobic to say any of those actions are 'gay'. That is a homophobic reaction.

I do it. I haaaave homosexual desires. I really, really, reeeeally like the womens, and I do this. I act homophobic. I will admit that, and good-golly-gosh, I am trying to change this. I still show misogynistic knee-jerk reactions. If you don't know what that means, misogyny is 'hatred of women'. What the Eff, I am a woman--how could I hate women? I was raised in a white, middle class Christian home, that's how. It's not even conscious, that's simply my upbringing rearing its head ever so often.

It happens, the trick is thinking past the programing and realizing what you're saying--or thinking--means. I think--I strongly feel lumping effeminate men with homosexual men is homophobic.

It's also sexist. Hypothetically; say a man is caught baking cookies and his friend teases him by accusing him of being gay.

Now replace the word 'gay' in that scenario with, say, 'a girl'. Wouldn't that be sexist? I'd think so.

While a good chunk of the American society is still a-okay with gay jokes (hell, even DISNEY is using them now), sexism is often a no-no. Not always, because I don't believe for a minute that women are treated equally to men, but a good chunk of the time sexism trumps homophobia. If you think about it, the worst insult for anyone, should you ask anyone, would be calling the other person some variation of 'woman', be it a female body-part or something women use, like a 'douche' for example. Still, you can argue sexism a lot easier than you can argue homophobia on the one key principle that most denominations of Christianity no longer outwardly teach women to be second-hand citizens. Gays? Oh sure, they're just wrong.

I guess the summary of this entry would be this; think about what you say and what people around you say. I'd hope you don't use the phrase 'that's so gay' when you mean something is 'wrong' or 'bad' or 'weird', because that is waaaay more homophobic than just referring to effeminate men as 'gay'. That is a knee-jerk for me. It offends me to no end.

But, assuming you already don't say 'that's so gay', consider not saying 'gay' when you mean 'effeminate'. Consider not even bringing it up, because if you mean 'effeminate' as 'bad'? You're being sexist and misogynistic.

It's something you definitely would have to work for, but what would you lose? Consider, for a moment, that doing this will make you a better, more compassionate person. I don't feel it matters to me whether or not saying that will offend any of my friends. It offends me. It doesn't matter what the rest of the world perceives as 'acceptable' in this situation because this, at its core, bothers me. I can only hope that it will bother at least one other person who reads this and they will change how they use the word 'gay', too.

Another epic for my front page. Thank you for getting this far. I hope you have a good day :>

~EDIT~
DEADLINE IS A'COMIN'! But I will not be so hardass as to not extend it or take entries once it's past :> This is just a friendly challenge, after all! No real need to rush if you are in fact adding to the Jak fanart database~

Lets say the Standard for Desktop Wallpapers--to the best of my googling abilities--is 1024x768

Edit!: Thanks guys for being so patient! I kinda rearraged how the entries are posted, tho. Hope you don't mind! If you sent me your wallpaper and I haven't put it up, please comment with it again. I don't want to leave anyone out.

I know quite a few Jaktards watch my journal;

Would you guys be part of a challenge with me?

By the end of the summer--let's say the 'deadline' is September 1st--each of us should put together a Jak Wallpaper and post it here on dA. When I say make, I of course mean draw. As lovely as they are, there's already plenty of screenshot and render wallpapers out there. Let's get some original artwork up on the web.

There's no prizes or anything, sorry. Just an invitation to do something as a Jaktard community. If you do get one finished, or have done one in the past and wanna link me to it, I'll put it up in this entry! I'll try to get one done, too, by the deadline <3

Does that sound cool?

Entries!

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Sorry, Jaktards. I hope you don't mind me temporarily taking down the entries journal. It'll be back up in a few days or so. There's just something I need to get off my chest, and I'd like to use my public journal for it. I'm hoping it helps. Besides, the entry would just be too long.

For those involved in the explained situation; if you'd rather I took this down, please just say the word.

Months ago, I went through a Reboot kick--some of you might remember it. I'd found the show again, I fangirled, I fanarted, I even stumbled upon a great ReBoot forum (a [link] to which is here for all interested. Seriously, the place is amazing). I usually hate forums, but the people were so damn nice and chatty and fun to talk to, I got over my issues with using it. The layout just bothers me--I like LJ better. Anyways, it used to be I checked it a lot.

This was around the time that the Reboot comic was wrapping up. The comic was supposed to jumpstart the revival, but I didn't think what we had been told and promised was coming true. And whatcha know; there happened to be a thread where we could discuss the new comics as they came out.

That's when something amazing happened. Some people were mad, some people wanted the mad people to calm down and take a chill pill about everything. I mentioned that it shouldn't matter what opinion we express as long as we're not 'ASCIIhats' about them, ASCII being the Reboot slang for 'ass'.

A user photoshoped a hat with 'ASCII' written on it onto my icon.

Soon other people were doing it; it took off.

The same user who photoshoped the first pic--I believe it was her anyways, it's been a while--decided ASCII hats should exist. She set off to make this happen and did all this work to get it going and make it affordable for everyone on the site and herself. I, of course, had to have one. I look terrible in hats, but dude, it was my meme. I should have one.

I shouldn't have had one.

Plans went through, but by the time I got my ASCII hat, I believe I'd stopped going to the site every day. My Bob muse had left or something similar and I just didn't feel comfortable going back. The user contacted me about how to pay her...

Months went by and I kept forgetting to tell my mom--who is the one with the paypal--to help me pay for it. I wasn't busy, per say, I just didn't think about it. The user patiently waited for me to send her compensation for paying for and shipping me a hat, then contacted me after a few more months. I ignored her emails and DA notes because I felt so anxious opening them. I knew I had to do it--I owed it to her to do it--but I couldn't bring myself to.

I think it's because it was the first time I'd ever done this kind of transaction over the internet. It's not like going to a store or what have you. I had what I wanted, I had to give back for it. For some reason that was stupidly hard. I wish I'd just paid her when she'd started shipping them. So much grief could've been avoided.

Anywho, I finally looked at one of the emails. In it she asked me to stop ignoring her--she could see I'd done activity on DA, y'know? I felt lower than dirt--like suddenly, knowing she knew, I understood why putting this off was a bad thing. It'd always been a bad thing! So I sat down with my mom and sent her the money to the first email she'd given me--or so I thought. I'm still not sure how it got mixed up, but I didn't end up sending it to her account. I contacted her back, she gave me the correct email and we talked for a bit.

I didn't send the money to her for another two months, though. She contacted me again, tonight. The patience was thin if gone, but she was still very, very civil about the whole thing. I wrote back a response, and then woke up my mom to pay it right then because I couldn't wait until the morning. I felt terrible.

I still feel terrible.

I'm also not sure if I should be posting this. It's certainly not a plea for sympathy or...whatever. I just was a stupid idiot about this whole thing. Felt like talking about it, and doing it where people could see. Atonement kinda, if that didn't sound so damn cheesy.

I gotta get better at this. Life is gonna be full of situations like this and this can't happen again. I can say that until my face is blue, but it doesn't matter if I don't actually work on it. I'm gonna try not to suck so bad the next time I'm given a similar chance.

I know quite a few Jaktards watch my journal;

Would you guys be part of a challenge with me?

By the end of the summer--let's say the 'deadline' is September 1st--each of us should put together a Jak Wallpaper and post it here on dA. When I say make, I of course mean draw. As lovely as they are, there's already plenty of screenshot and render wallpapers out there. Let's get some original artwork up on the web.

There's no prizes or anything, sorry. Just an invitation to do something as a Jaktard community. If you do get one finished, or have done one in the past and wanna link me to it, I'll put it up in this entry! I'll try to get one done, too, by the deadline <3

Does that sound cool?

Edit!: ENTRIES ARE AS FOLLOWS

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Cute, simple and to the point. A wallpaper for Elf!Dax lovers <3

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Jak's got somewhere to be. An exciting, cute wallpaper.

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A Kingdom Hearts!Jak for the Naughty Dog AND Squarenix lovers.

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Light Jak! You've gotta love it. A beautiful blue wallpaper.

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GUYS. GUYS IT'S A PRECURSOR GUYS. AND LITTLE MAR. I THINK I'M GONNA DIE OF CUTE. THIS WALLPAPER IS A WALLPAPER OF AWESOME AND CUTE.